I lost my faith

By T.C. Howitt

Jan 21, 2016

I once believed in the Big Bang Theory of creation, but I couldn’t find any compelling evidence that it was true. I listened to my priests of Physics and trusted their assertions as far as they’d go. But I was bothered by the clear contradiction that says scientists need evidence before they’ll trust in the value of theory. The contradictions were everywhere. They told me every effect has a cause, but I could find no prime cause that created the universe that wouldn’t itself beg for a cause. The question posed for me an extremely uncomfortable contradiction.

I once believed in the Theory of macroevolution, but again, I was shown absolutely no evidence to prove it. I attended the Church of St. Darwin for years, and never saw one stitch of evidence for this outrageous claim that everything, including us, evolved from simple cellular matter and pure dumb luck. My fellow worshippers pointed to fossils, and I wondered, why are they using evidence of microevolution to support their leap of faith in macroevolution? I still believe in microevolution because I can see all the evidence. I learned that even St Darwin questioned his own faith in macroevolution.

I had been a fan of technology, so I was concerned that we couldn’t even simulate macroevolution using genetic algorithms using Darwinian random mutation and survival of the fittest without ad hoc rules to hack in desired results (look up David Berlinski). Almost all mutations in these systems are deleterious, and the rest go nowhere after the first potential progressive step out of millions of necessary steps needed to achieve macroevolution. I discovered that believing that macroevolution proceeds using random mutation is magical thinking, faith in the purest sense. I saw in nature that Organism is different – creation happens simultaneously and systematically. Creation seems serendipitous, but it operates according to a beautiful sequence of threefold dynamics, like a garden. The Theory of Intelligent Design left me cold – a theory that presupposes God as an engineer implementing biological assembly lines and conveyer belts reminded me of how the Catholic Church created images of Satan as a red devil with horns, a bifurcated tail and a pitchfork in order to shame him, only to find that he took on the role to prove that he didn’t exist. God does not create like we create, ESPECIALLY not like our technicians create.

I was living in a dark place, having lost my faith in Scientism. I couldn’t even tell myself that these religious types were at least creating a good life in this world. In fact, I saw quite the opposite, that things were getting much, much worse for us.

Then I saw the light, a light that gave me vision in the darkness. When you see the world, when you experience the world as it is, theory no longer plays a part. You don’t need to make up stories and believe them despite lack of evidence. There is no leap of faith to believe in Jesus Christ once you know him, but rather only the true faith of belief.

I don’t need to address the problems posed by unsubstantiated theories with no evidence. Those aren’t my problems to solve, which is fortunate because they’re impossible to solve. I’m interested in the truth, not fairy tales told by mystics of science falsely so called (1 Timothy 6:20). They don’t see the truth because they reject God, and thus they can’t proceed with true natural science because they can’t distinguish it from false science. They’re lost, and our civilization has put them in charge of things. We call them the smartest people in the world, a world that they say we need to ditch for Mars because we’ve wrecked this place with our science.

The primary attribute of truth is coherence – everything must fit together into a whole – and the shantytown of mainstream scientific theory is anything but coherent. It will always contradict itself, and we will always suffer for it while it is taken as Progress.

Now I’m an apostate of the Church of Scientism. It’s educational to witness the frustration of its adherents, who express concern for my well-being as if I’m the one in deep trouble with delusion. They need to pay attention to the elephants in their room.